Spaghettieis.

I feel down again.
Tried something new. Have to adapt to it. Haven't yet.

Wondering if I should tell him. Or anyone.
I mean..he will find out eventually. Or won't he? Because I'm shitty and he won't like to see me again? Because..oh well..I could easily find many more reasons. Just look at the list I recently posted. And that's not even half of the things..
I wonder what he might say assuming he would find out.

I can't imagine he would want that. Want me. Even if he maybe did before he knew. Who would possibly want that?

Are my words making any sense? Because I don't feel like I'm making sense of anything. Of me. Is there any sense at all?

I'm such a freak. Being happy and all in one second and crying like a baby about everything in the next. I don't feel stable. I think I might need someone to stablize me but it's a tough job I assume.
Seeking for attention? Maybe.
Would be just another point on my list of selfhatred, wouldn't it?

I fucking change my fucking mind every fucking five minutes. I can't even do the easiest thing properly.
I can't even hate myself properly because I have my ups and my moments where I don't think at all about it. So it seem like succeeding when I see the strawberrysauce.

I feel down again. But now I do while being a Spaghettieis.